The study appears in the Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, and finds gender differences when long-married partners are asked about their marital relationship.

“The men don’t really want to talk about it or spend too much time thinking about it,” said Carr. “Men often don’t want to express vulnerable emotions, while women are much more comfortable expressing sadness or worry.”

The finding supports Carr’s belief that men and women have very different emotional reactions to the strain and support they experience in marriage. While talking about issues and offering support makes the wives — who traditionally feel responsible for sustaining the emotional climate of a marriage — feel good, this only frustrated the husbands surveyed.

“For women, getting a lot of support from their spouse is a positive experience,” said Carr. “Older men, however, may feel frustrated receiving lots of support from their wife, especially if it makes them feel helpless or less competent.”

In the study, 722 couples, married an average of 39 years, were asked how their marital experience and the reactions of their spouse affected them.

They responded to whether they could open up to their spouse if they needed to talk about their worries, whether their spouse appreciates them, understands the way they feel about things, argues with them, makes them feel tense, and gets on their nerves.

“Men who provide high levels of support to their wives may feel this frustration if they believe that they would rather be focusing their energies on another activity,” Carr said.

It may also have something to do with the age of the couples, with one spouse in the study having to be at least 60. Men of this generation may feel less competent if they need too much support from their wives, Carr said.

This article first appeared on ‘Psych Central’ on 27 October 2015.

Professor Mike Slade, from King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, says the current attitude of mental health professionals is one of “do what we tell you to do and you will be well again.”

He says stigma against mental illness is alive and well among health professionals, who continue to maintain “hope-destroying” practices.

While developed countries have closed most asylums, they’ve inadvertently created “virtual institutions”, where sufferers who appear to live in the community are actually stuck in a “mental illness-defined bubble”.

Prof Slade is calling for a shift to a ‘nothing about us without us’ attitude, where those affected by mental health problems are involved in the debate about their future.

“If we only listen to professional constructions and narratives, we inadvertently oppress,” he told Mental Health Australia’s Grace Groom Memorial Oration in Canberra on Wednesday night.

Treatment should be offered as a resource in someone’s recovery, “rather than done to them in their best interests”.

Prof Slade wants the mental health system to employ more people with lived experience of mental illness.

Instead of focusing only on patients, the system should be working with employers, educating them on how to accommodate workers with mental illness.

Mental health needed to move from a treatment-based model to a citizenship model, focusing on supporting people to make their own way rather than providing interventions.

“Living well for most of us does not happen in the hospital or in mental health service settings” Prof Slade said.

“It happens as we live our lives in our chosen community.”

This article first appeared on ‘SBS’ on 21 October 2015.

German researchers analysed data from 20,000 people from three nations in the most comprehensive and largest study to date on the issue.

They found that birth order had no effect on five key personality traits: extroversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness and imagination.

However, the paper, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, supported earlier findings that the first child in a family was likely to be more intelligent.

Co-author Julia Rohrer, from the University of Leipzig, said the link between birth order and personality was first mooted in the early 1900s by psychiatrist and philosopher Alfred Adler — the second of six children.

He claimed firstborns were privileged, but also burdened by feelings of excessive responsibility and a fear of dethronement and were more likely to score high on neuroticism.

However, the idea became firmly entrenched in the modern era when United States academic, Professor Frank Sullaway, developed the Family Niche Theory of birth-order effects in 1996.

Based on Darwin’s theories of evolution, he argued that siblings adapted to certain roles within the family to reduce competition and enhanced the family unit’s “fitness”.

According to Professor Sulloway’s theory, because firstborns were physically superior to their siblings at a young age, they were more likely to show dominant behaviour and become less agreeable.

Laterborns, searching for other ways to assert themselves, tended to rely on social support and become more sociable and thus more extroverted.

Personality theory deeply entrenched

Ms Rohrer said this theory had become deeply entrenched in the public psyche.

“Whether you have younger or older siblings appears to be of such great importance as a child, that the assumption that this has a lasting impact on personality just seems ‘natural’,” Ms Rohrer said.

“I think there are some biases at work that help firm those beliefs. For example, parents might infer their firstborn is emotionally unstable and very anxious because their infant cries a lot and is easily scared.

“The second-born child might actually cry just as much, but now the parents already know that this is just the way that children are, and stop attributing this behaviour to the child’s character.”

To test Professor Sullaway’s theory, Ms Rohrer’s team used data from three large national studies in Great Britain, the US and Germany.

The team undertook a range of analysis and looked for effects that were evident within families and also more generally expressed across all families.

“We tried our best, but we simply couldn’t find the majority of the expected effects in our data sets,” she said.

Their finding that birth order had no lasting impact on later personality traits was consistent across all three national studies, across the different measures of personality and across the participants’ whole of life span, she said.

The study could be the final nail in the coffin of Professor Sullaway’s theory.

Ms Rohrer said there was now a large body of work that had been unable to detect the birth-order effects as predicted by the Family Niche Theory.

“Rationally, we might want to abandon its main ideas or maybe modify its content in a way that it is more in line with empirical findings,” she said.

Firstborn IQ effects ‘rather humble’

Ms Rohrer said the study did confirm IQ is impacted by birth order and said it was likely this was due to social effects rather than biological.

“One theory is that later children ‘dilute’ the resources of the parents, including attention,” she said.

While the firstborn gets full parental attention for at least some time, laterborns would have to “share” from the beginning.

Another possible contributing factor was that a firstborn could “tutor” their younger siblings, explaining to them how the world worked.

“Teaching other people has high cognitive demands,” Ms Rohrer said.

“The children need to recall their own knowledge, structure it and think of a good way to explain it to youngsters, which could be a boost to intelligence for some firstborns.”

However, she said the IQ effects were “rather humble” and not deterministic.

“The effect does not imply that every firstborn is slightly more intelligent than his or her younger siblings. It means that if you assess the intelligence of a large number of sibships, you will find more sibships in which the firstborn is smarter than sibships in which the laterborn is smarter,” she said.

“So as a thirdborn, you could very well be more intelligent than your older siblings, and birth order is only one of multiple factors that can contribute to differences in intelligence amongst siblings.”

This article first appeared on ‘ABC‘ on 20 October 2015.

“It makes the world of difference, especially today,” he said after meeting with Ms Thorp in his home for a phone consultation with a doctor in Broken Hill. “I wouldn’t go outside, I wouldn’t go anywhere else to see a doctor.”  Too sick to drive 200 kilometres from the South Australian town to Broken Hill for help, the texts and the subsequent meeting with Ms Thorp were a “lifeline”.

While Pete (last name withheld) finds the openness and the nothingness of the bush “almost uplifting”, the lack of privacy in a small town was suffocating: “Everybody knows what everyone’s doing, everybody knows what everyone’s saying.” Ms Thorp is part of a push by the Royal Flying Doctor Service to expand its mental health services to meet growing demand. In 2014, demand for mental health services grew 30 per cent, and in 2013, they jumped 28 per cent. In response, the RFDS will offer mental health services in the Central West, out of its Dubbo base, and has increased the number of mental health experts like Thorp based in Broken Hill. They visit towns like Wilcannia, White Cliffs, Packsaddle, Menindee, Tibooburra, and Wanaaring.
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To maintain patients’ privacy, discretion, decoys and improvisation are needed. Ms Thorp sees patients wherever she can: on a park bench, near a toilet block, the front seat of a hot car or in a corridor of an abandoned railway building. Another man, who has a history of depression and was angry after a heart attack, talked informally to her in the shade of an old corrugated iron wall that had become her defacto office in Yunta on a hot spring day. Later that day, the same man sent a friend over to meet Ms Thorp. Referrals like these are one reason why demand has grown, RFDS said.

“Sometimes we have to be discrete so it may mean wandering away, having a walk with someone, or if we have access to a vehicle, we may take them for a drive down the river so we are not actually seen with that person,” Ms Thorp, who is a highly experienced and credentialed nurse who has also run area hospitals, said.

To throw others off the scent, she makes a point of talking to as many as people as possible. That was not hard in Yunta where nearly half the population and some station owners and families visited the improvised clinic or dropped in for a chat. “Whether it is g’day, how are you, just to pass the time of day so you can’t necessarily put two and two together,” she said.

To gain trust in towns where newcomers are viewed with suspicion, the mental health nurses hit the streets – visiting the police, the school, roadhouses and local businesses to introduce themselves.

Problems range from depression to relationship issues, which can be a real challenge when families live and work together as closely as they do on properties and businesses in remote areas. She also visits schools to talk to children about developing healthy mental habits and building on their own strengths.

Vicki Hemley, of Packsaddle Station, about 200kms north of Broken Hill, sought counselling and advice after a young family friend killed himself.

“Mental health problems are not unique to the bush, but the uniqueness of the bush is where do we go to get help and who do we talk to now? If we can’t get an appointment for a week, that week may be the difference between someone getting help or making a rash decision.”

A 42-year-old with no children of her own, she was heartbroken by the boy’s death, and she also wanted advice on what to say to his family.

“Glynis told me to listen,” Ms Hemley, who added that Ms Thorp had also listened to her, said.

About 20 per cent of Australians suffer a mental illness each year and women are twice as likely to seek help for mental health issues as men, especially in the rural and remote areas serviced by the RFDS. Yet the amount of mental services in the bush lags behind those in the city.

This article first appeared on ‘Sydney Morning Herald’ on 15 October 2015.

During Mental Health Week last week, Health Minister Cameron Dick unveiled the Queensland Mental Health Promotion, Prevention and Early Intervention Plan 2015-17, which aims to improve the mental health and wellbeing of Queenslanders by taking early action.

Mr Dick also announced more than $450,000 in funding to improve mental health through greater social inclusion and community participation, particularly in regional areas.

In Parliament yesterday Ms Howard highlighted the government’s commitment to youth mental health, in light of the LNP’s closure of the Barrett Adolescent Centre, which is currently the subject of a commission of inquiry headed by the Hon. Margaret A Wilson QC.

“The Palaszczuk Government values the mental health of our youth and has committed $11.8 million over four years to rebuild mental health care for young people in Queensland after the last three years of neglect,” she said.

Ms Howard also emphasised the importance of working together as a society that values mental health.

“Mental health is an issue that touches all of our lives at some point, either personally or through the experiences of friends and family,” Ms Howard said.

“Most of us can manage these issues and get on with our lives, but others need help.

“Whether as a government, a community or individually, we must do everything we can to assist them.”

Meanwhile the Opposition today sought a bipartisan approach to mental health support services by harmonising two bills currently before Parliament.

Shadow Minister for Health Mark McArdle said it was crucial politics was left at the door when dealing with such an important issue as mental health.

“Currently there are two bills before Parliament, one introduced by the LNP in April and the other introduced by Labor in September,” Mr McArdle said.

“Both bills aim to improve and maintain the health and wellbeing of persons with a mental illness and ensure Queenslanders are supported through evidence based clinical practice.

“In the Minister’s speech introducing the government bill into the house he said, the ‘bills have many reform directions in common’.

“Given the Minister’s comments, it makes sense to present one single Mental Health bill supported by all sides of politics.

“The LNP has written to the Minister for Health and the Chair of the Parliamentary Health and Ambulance Services Committee Leanne Linard calling for one, unified bill on Mental Health.

“In the letter we have requested an extension of the reporting time to allow for this process to occur.

“We are also open to work with the government on any differences within the bills, proposing for any issue to be set aside and worked through individually to form a set of consensus clauses.”

Mr McArdle said one bill, being supported by all sides of politics sends a clear message that mental health is a clinical area where a great deal of bipartisanship exists.

“By working together we can deliver a bill that improves the lives of the nearly 20% of Queenslanders affected by a mental disorder each year,” he said.

The West Moreton Mental Health Collaborative held a number of free community events around the Ipswich region during Mental Health Week last week, including a morning walk, a community showcase at The Park Centre for Mental Health, an information night and a free breakfast in Queens Park and held a silent art auction at the Ipswich Community Art Gallery. Aftercare also hosted an early childhood mental health forum.

This article first appeared on ‘Queensland Times’ on 14 October 2015.

Last year in the Northern Territory, 86% of those in prison and 96% of those in juvenile detention were Indigenous. In Western Australia, Indigenous people account for only 3% of the population, but 40% of prisoners.

It is unacceptable to ignore the intellectual capacity of a person facing the court and it’s vital to ensure that youth put behind bars have been properly assessed before sentencing. This is particularly important for Australians affected by fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD). These occur throughout society and in high levels in some Indigenous communities.

The capacity to screen for prenatal alcohol exposure – as well as to diagnose FASD – must urgently be increased. This echoes recent calls by Perth Children’s Court magistrate Catherine Crawford for clinicians to assess children and youth before sentencing, so the court understands their cognitive limitations.

Cognitive limitations

Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders are a group of preventable conditions resulting from exposure to alcohol in the womb. Alcohol readily crosses the mother’s placenta, entering the circulation of the developing fetus with devastating effects.

Significantly, it can disrupt brain development and that of other organs, causing lifelong problems. These include developmental delay, intellectual and memory impairment, as well as a range of behavioural, emotional and mental health disorders.

People with FASD can suffer from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADHD), communication disorders, poor impulse control, disobedience and hostility issues, and learning difficulties.

They often struggle to distinguish right from wrong and fail to learn from mistakes. Few with FASD will live and work independently. Many have mental health and substance misuse problems.

It is no surprise that many also come in contact with the law. An adolescent living with a FASD in Canada or the United States, for instance, is estimated to have a 19 times higher risk of incarceration than someone without a FASD.

Despite this, the condition remains poorly recognised and few obtain a diagnosis prior to offending. Offenders with FASD are often poor witnesses and fail to understand why they have been detained. Unable to negotiate the justice system, they are adversely influenced by others and often enter a cycle of re-offending.

FASD and the justice system

Rosie Fulton, a 21-year-old Aboriginal woman with FASD and significant intellectual impairment, was arrested last year after stealing and crashing a car. Declared unfit to stand trial, Rosie was sent to Western Australia’s Kalgoorlie Prison for lack of alternative accommodation.

She stayed in jail for 21 months with no trial or conviction. Only after her story broke, mounting pressure on the health ministers of Western Australia and the Northern Territory led to Rosie being transferred to supervised community accommodation close to her family in Alice Springs.

In Australia, we don’t know how many people deemed “unfit to plead” are in prison and how many have cognitive impairment, as we lack recent data regarding rates of FASD in prisons. US studies suggest up to 60% of young people with FASD will at some time enter the juvenile justice system.

Another study, conducted in a forensic mental health facility in Canada, showed 23% of resident youth had one type of FASD. This figure may be higher in vulnerable Australian populations, particularly in some remote regions where alcohol use in pregnancy is prevalent.

The economic impact of incarcerating people with FASD is huge. In Canada, the direct cost to the correctional system between 2011 and 2012 was CAD$17.5 million for youth and CAD$356.2 million for adults.

Screening for FASD

Diagnosing FASD is a challenge because as children get older, a firm history of prenatal alcohol exposure may be elusive. With age, the characteristic facial features (small eye openings, a thin upper lip and flat philtrum, the area between the upper lip and base of the nose) of fetal alcohol syndrome – a subset of FASD – diminish, and growth deficits correct.

Thorough assessment by a physician, a psychologist and, if necessary, allied health professionals, can identify impairments required for a FASD diagnosis, whether fetal alcohol syndrome or a neuro-developmental disorder associated with prenatal alcohol exposure. Such impairments can be in IQ, communication, memory, motor and executive function, and other areas.

In Canada, youth probation officers are using a tool for screening young offenders for FASD, and identifying the need for referral and assessment.

Another tool for health professionals with accompanying guidelines for assessing and diagnosing people with FASD is being developed in Australia. This will standardise the diagnostic approach.

Tools such as these are necessary to increase screening and diagnostic capacity in the justice and health systems. If a diagnosis is known, the associated behavioural and cognitive deficits can be taken into account when considering the reliability of evidence given by an offender, the supervision required in detention, and the sentence.

Appropriate care

There has been a call for better legal support for people with vulnerabilities in their journey through the criminal justice system. Consideration should be given to the defence of diminished responsibility in conditions such as FASD.

And alternative models of care need to be found to avoid imprisonment of those unable to plead. As identified in the case of Rosie Fulton, this poses a significant challenge, particularly in remote Australia where alternative accommodation is not readily available and would be costly to establish.

But prison is far more costly. In Canada, the justice system accounts for 40% of the total costs of FASD (including health and education). And Australia’s Senate inquiry on justice reinvestment heard that the estimated cost of detaining a juvenile offender in New South Wales in 2010–11 was much higher ($A652 per day) than the cost of supervision in the community ($A16.73 per day).

To end the cycle of re-offending, we urgently need evidence-based strategies to ensure offenders with FASD are recognised early and receive the care they deserve.

This article first appeared on ‘The Conversation’ on 13 October 2015.

The Government also said it would not force resource companies to acknowledge their workforce is vulnerable to suicide.

It was responding to a parliamentary committee report on the impact of FIFO work practices on mental health, prompted by nine publicised suicide cases that triggered the inquiry last year.

The committee found in June that FIFO operations could lead to a “heightened risk of mental health issues” but a lack of accurate, accessible data made it impossible to establish suicide levels among any specific working group.

In its response tabled in parliament, the Government supported 15 of the committee’s recommendations, noted 14 and partially supported one.

Mines Minister Bill Marmion said it supported recommendations around gathering more data on the mental health impacts of fly-in, fly-out work.

“One of the things that actually surprised me is the report didn’t come with any data at all,” Mr Marmion said.

“So you can’t compare the mining industry with any other industry.

“We recognise the cohort of people that work in the mining industry are a vulnerable cohort: male and in the age group that mainly they pick up.”

The Government’s response said it has funded the development of a case management system for the Office of the Coroner for 2016-17.

That would create a single, searchable database of suicides for specific occupations, including FIFO workers.

But it would not force mining groups to acknowledge “their workforce is vulnerable to suicide”, noting FIFO work was a potential suicide factor in conjunction with other life stressors such as mental illness and alcohol and drug use.

No mental health code of practice just for mining industry

The Government will invite the Mental Health Commission and the Mining Industry Advisory Committee to work on strengthening existing codes of practice instead of creating a new one for FIFO workers.

“We’re looking at it but we already have codes of practice, a general code of practice,” Mr Marmion said.

“We’ve just got to make sure the current codes are reviewed and, you know, it’s a doubling up.”

The committee recommended a code of practice for FIFO workers address rostering issues, “with the aim of encouraging even-time rosters, and rosters that support mental health and wellbeing such as two weeks on, one week off”.

The Government said “some anecdotal evidence supports this recommendation, while other anecdotal evidence indicates some workers prefer the financial benefits of longer rosters”.

It said existing codes of practice would be reviewed to ensure they addressed the impact of fatigue.

The Government said it would also do more work on recommendations around mental health training programs, “mental health literacy” for FIFO workers and their families, and policies to manage suicide or suicide attempts.

Unions condemn Government for ‘abandoning FIFO workers’

Chamber of Minerals and Energy (CME) acting chief executive Nicole Roocke welcomed the Government’s response.

“We consider the approach to refer the matters to things like the the Mining Industry Advisory Committee and the Mental Health Commission will see action happen on the specific recommendations,” Ms Roocke said.

The chamber also supported the move to review existing codes of practice.

“CME doesn’t support the development of an additional code of practice to specifically address these concerns and these issues,” Ms Roocke said.

“What we do support is looking at existing codes of practice, whether these be looking at [re]working ours, or looking at the other breadth of codes of practice that do exist.”

The Australian Manufacturing Workers Union, the Construction Forestry, Mining and Energy Union, and the Electrical Trades Union said they were most concerned about the refusal to establish a FIFO Code of Practice.

“It underpins the integrity of all the other recommendations, and without it, weakens the 14 recommendations that the Government has agreed to,” CFMEU State Secretary Mick Buchan said.

“The mental health and well being of workers should always come first and we will continue to campaign to improve this work practice for the benefit of FIFO workers and their families.”

This article first appeared on ‘ABC’ on 13 October 2015.

The suicide of another police officer on Monday, who is also understood to have suffered from mental illness yet was armed with a service revolver, is expected to intensify pressure on Chief Commissioner Graham Ashton to act.

Force command has been accused of being slow to react to the increasingly erratic behaviour of several officers, who were deemed fit to work and permitted to carry firearms.

A Victoria Police spokeswoman said the force had strict policies to the ability of members to carry personal firearms which take into account, health, wellbeing and welfare issues.

“Members are monitored very closely in relation to carrying a firearm. We are not complacent and continually review these policies to ensure they remain robust, and we look for opportunities to improve,” the spokeswoman said.

Senior Constable Tim Baker, 44, is understood to have suffered serious mental health issues for almost a decade before he killed Vlado Micetic during a routine intercept in Windsor in 2013. He was charged with one count of murder last week, after shooting Mr Micetic three times in the chest and claiming he acted in self-defence.

Mr Baker took extended leave on several occasions because of his illness, and was only allowed to resume work after approval from a Victoria Police psychiatrist.

But less than a year before the shooting, it is believed Mr Baker was involved in a serious altercation with another officer during Operational Safety Tactics and Training that should have set off alarms, according to colleagues of the accused man.

During firearms training, an instructor placed a hand on Mr Baker to assist with his stance. According to a source, Mr Baker responded: “take your hands off me or I’ll f…ing kill you”.

Two former colleagues have expressed serious concern that Mr Baker was subsequently issued with a gun and permitted to work alone.

“He should not have been operational and he definitely should not have been working by himself. It’s a failure of the department and Tim’s supervisors, they’re the ones who should also be held accountable for this tragedy,” said a former colleague.

Another officer, who worked briefly with Mr Baker, said his mental health issues were widely known and he had received professional help.

Police Association secretary Ron Iddles refused to discuss Mr Baker’s case, but said more than 200 officers had gone on sick leave over the past year because of depression and post-traumatic stress.

As Victoria Police force grapples with the issue of mental health and an entrenched history of “suffering in silence”, Mr Iddles urged more members to seek help when they were unable to cope with the demands of the job.

The state coroner is presently investigating at least four police suicides, including the death of an information technology specialist at the Victoria Police Centre in June, who did not carry a weapon as part of his daily duties, but was issued with a gun by the transit safety division.

The man shot himself at a Rosanna primary school, where his estranged partner is believed to have worked.

A senior police officer said the man should never have been given the weapon .

“The force hasn’t always been great at dealing with (the) mental health or stability of its people. Obviously the job’s stressful and people handle it different ways, and there’s definitely some coppers who shouldn’t have guns.”

A Victoria Police spokeswoman said the force had appointed Deakin University to assist with a workplace analysis, while also undertaking an internal review of the welfare work and support it provides to officers.

“The Chief Commissioner has commissioned an external review to look at what more Victoria Police can do to best manage the issues surrounding mental health to ensure that going forward we deal with these issues in the best way possible,” the spokeswoman said.

This article first appeared on ‘The Age’ on 13 October 2015.

I remember I had asked to leave class early that day. I probably stood at the top of those stairs for about 10 minutes. I kept picturing myself wearing a cast in my arm and having to stay home for a week. I moved back and forth trying to figure out where the best place to fall from would be to cause just enough harm. Ultimately, those 10 minutes turned to seconds and the school bell rang. My chance had gone away.

I brushed off what I had tried to do. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I wanted to hurt myself to get out of having to go to school. Wanting to not go to school was not anything unusual for someone at that age. The extent to which I was was willing to go to was.

I wasn’t used to admitting I was struggling. I had always been a perfectionist who had a close group of friends, did great in school, and was truly happy with life. Having a mental illness was nothing I ever pictured having to deal with.

The thing is, mental illness is like cancer. You don’t know when it’s coming.

So when it does, you have to admit you have a problem. I would have probably been able to prevent what happened my first semester of college had I sought help for the insecurities I was having. Feelings are not a phase.

While I had forgotten about what happened my junior year of high school it ultimately came back to haunt me my first semester of college. I wasn’t used to being away from the perfect life I was used to having back home. I was diagnosed with depression after seeking help from a therapist in late September of 2011. I was advised to start taking medication but for personal beliefs refused to do so. However, the weekly sessions I began having with my therapist began to really make a difference.

While I continued to see here for about 9 months, I ultimately regret the need to hide the fact that I was seeing her. The stigma with mental illness is that if you’re dealing with it you’re either crazy. And truth be told, the people who think this way are the ones who should call themselves crazy.

One of my favorite songs says it best: “It’s ok not to be ok.” Jessie J sings this in her song “Who You Are.”

And what she goes on to say is really what I hope to show you through this personal essay. She sings “When we realize this, life is more content.”

While my family members knew I was attending therapy, my friends didn’t. Every time I was in therapy or attending group counseling I lied and said I was somewhere else. I was ashamed.

The fact that I was hiding a big part of my life became even more apparent when I was interviewing for a scholarship and came face to face with a work colleague who was part of the panel. In the essay I had discussed my battle with depression. I did the interview in peace but came out in tears.

He was the first person outside my family, more than one year after I had stopped being treated by a therapist, who had found about about my depression. I intended to keep it this way.

I finally felt the need not to so during my senior year of college. One of my best friends opened up to me about his struggle with depression not knowing about my own struggle. I was hesitant to admit it to it but finally chose to do so.

He was the first person who actually made talking about depression feel normal and continues to be the only person who makes I can have that type of conversation with. I’m happy to have found that support but am sad that there has only been one person who I can receive this type of support from.

While we may not all feel comfortable talking about depression we need to be willing to open our hearts and our minds to having the conversation about depression.

That is why I openly wrote admitted to my battle with depression on Facebook a few months before my college graduation. Soon after, four more people opened up to me about their own struggles with depression.

As a professional writer I have openly blogged about my story and have raised awareness with organizations like To Write Love on Her Arms and Mental Health America. That is not enough though.

You might think that because I worked with organizations that are in the mental health space that I should and could have treated my own depression. The thing is that even though I learned about how the things I was feeling were not OK, I couldn’t stop them.

You can have everything in the world or nothing at all and are still not be immune to facing a mental illness.

I have a mother who has survived multiple battles with cancer, a father who’s an amputee, come from a very low socioeconomic background, and have phased other health battles. But none of those experiences ever made me depressed. It was the things that I didn’t think much about in life that did.

After more and more people began to know about my own struggle, I began to feel in my own skin. While some people have looked at me differently and at times might not say things about it as respectfully as I wish they did, that’s ok. Depression is not the most easiest thing to wear, but when you’re finally able to wear it in public, life becomes 100 percent easier.

Follow Ingrid Vasquez on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ingridtweets_

This article first appeared on ‘Huffington Post’ on 13 October 2015.