Health professionals believe a culture of dealing with tragedy in isolation remains an ongoing issue, the National Rural Health Conference in Darwin has been told.

They say everyone going through a crisis should be comfortable asking for help, but the self-reliance of many people in the bush is stopping them from seeking out that assistance.

Alison Kennedy, from the National Centre for Farmer Health, said being seen to be tough and able to deal with things alone is a real issue. “The people I’ve been speaking to who have been bereaved by suicide and accidental death,” she said. “They’re very good at giving help to other people but they’re not great at asking for help themselves, particularly when it comes to emotional issues. “They don’t even have the language to ask for help. They don’t even know how to do it.”

Ms Kennedy said that not everyone needed help, but it was very important for those who did.

For Ethan Hale, dealing with tragedy from the small outback Queensland town of Boulia, 300 kilometres south of Mount Isa, was not easy. Mr Hale said he dealt with the suicide in his family by abusing drugs and alcohol and working himself to the bone. “I don’t think you ever clearly make sense of what’s happened in a suicide,” said Mr Hale. “You look at self blame, you look at family blame, you look at community blame. “In the case of my brother’s suicide, he didn’t leave a note, so we were left not knowing what the actual reasons behind his suicide were.”

Mr Hale said the grief and loss counselling he needed was not available in the small town. Instead, he relied on support from the community and succumbed to substance abuse. “I numbed myself a fair bit with substances and, not only that, I kept myself really busy with work.”

Lynne Halliday, from the Royal Flying Doctor Service in Queensland, said an expansion of services would include more specialised care, but funding was an issue when trying to keep psychologists in very remote places. “We also have community capacity building officers who work with the local community and help support the building of those networks and bring people together to build their resilience,” she said.

Ethan Hale admitted he still struggled on a daily basis, but having moved forward and got himself a tertiary education, the future was looking much brighter. “I got involved with a program called Standby Response, which is a suicide bereavement team,” he said. “That also helped me explore what the normal reactions are when the suicide takes place. “The whole thing for me is to normalise the feelings and the pressures and the thoughts that do occur when a suicide takes place so close to home.”

This article first appear on ABC Online, 26 May, 2015.